Just in case Jolly Joel was too much of a softball for you, I wanted to give you another option.
I know we can learn alot from each other about this crucial topic that consumes our culture and will affect our kids and our relationships with them as parents and teachers.
I found an article that we can use as a starting point. Please feel free to respond however you choose.
http://www.esva.net/~leo/decay.html
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9 comments:
Ok...that article was so funny. I mean not goofy funny, but down-to-earth funny. And, you know, I tend to agree with him. We have got to be talking to our kids, putting away our own inhibitions and fears, allowing no conversation to be off-limits. Of course, you have to consider age-appropriateness, too.
Our teenage daughter, bless her heart, knows more than she'd care to know about her dad's vasectomy! Oh my goodness, you just can't hide things like that! She grosses out about certain things with us; however, I've noticed that she's not afraid to bring things up either. All in all, I want to give my kids the Biblical perspective of sex, as well as other issues, understanding that it's His gift to husband and wife and that His perimeter around it isn't to bind us but to protect us. And, I want the conversations to be open and ongoing.
Wow! What an incredible woman you are, Jennifer.
I firmly believe it is always best to model, with great intention, what we want our kids to see, understand and believe. Since it's impossible for me to model in the truest sense, due to my failure in marriage, I must try to make the most of the situation I've created.
That being said, I believe my greatest strategy is to live out my daughter's value and significance in my life with sacrifice, patience, resolve, discipline and love. I believe it is my responsibility as a parent to show her and teach her who she is and what that means to be a child of God. I don't believe it to be enough to simply point her towards Christ. If she doesn't understand her own value to the Lord and the importance of her purity to his people, then she will give herself away cheaply.
We, as parents, I think, must be diligent in training our children by continually taking advantage of every opportunity concerning this topic. Much like studying for a test it's best to learn a little everyday rather than cramming when it's test time.
I hope all our kids know how special and valuable they are and refuse to give themselves to lovers less wild.
I must be honest and say I was a little uncomfortable reading this article. If you are a close friend you probably know this about me, and I am coming from my experience with my relationship with my parents, my dad inparticular, bc my daughter is only one. I will be the black sheep and have a different opinion, not that what has been said isn't true. But, I do think there are other ways to raise a child who values herself and sex enough without being overly blantant in talking about the subject or grabbing your spouse in front of the kids,lol. Just thinking about that makes me laugh. I am totally the kid he was talking about in the article. My parents are the prudest people on the planet. (Ex: My dad coined the term PIG. Growing up if we were watching a movie with any sex scenes, even just kissing, he would cover his face with his hands and say P.I.G. which stands for Please, I'm gagging!)
With that said, I do want to talk to my children more about sex than my parents did. Particularly, why God intended it for ony husband and wife, which Christians tend to leave out. We are often good at setting the rule without explaining the reason. But, I really disagree that this has a lot to do with moral depravity and the escalted abortion rate. I'm sorry, but I thik that is ludicrous. Society has always been this way, and it was probably worse in earlier generations, so to say that prudism is the reason for a rise in abortion is crazy to me. I think it is mostly due to absent (not just physically) parents in general.
So, if we are talking about what we should do as parents, I am on board. Sure, show affection, talk to your kids about sex and how God intended it. But, if we are exploring the moral depravity of kids, I will have to jump off the wagon here. I think making sure your kids know you have sex is great and can help, but all in all, this is not the reason for moral depravity in this arena. I wouldn't even put it in the top 10. I'm not suggesting we should settle for metiocraty here at all, just wanting to explore the why some more!I have no idea if this even makes sense.
Well step back people because i am an expert on this subject. Having raised 10 children of my own i think i will adequetly be able to answer this article. Okay if you dont know me those first two sentences were completely false and just a joke. However, i do have a thought on this article and what my opinion is about it. I think my view is leaning closer to crystals view and i thought the last couple of sentences were hilarious! I dont know about you guys but i would be scarred for life if i saw my dad grab my moms boobs.
I think paul had it right when he talked about making the kids see their value first which will make them see that they should wait for that guy/girl who God wants them to spend the rest of their lives with. And i also think jennifer was right in that we should discuss the biblical aspect of sex with kids. I think this is a big issue because most kids dont even understand why you should have sex, all they say is because the bible says so. However if you asked them where specifically in the bible it says that they just kind of shrug their shoulders almost like God is punishing them and doesnt want them to experience anything good. But Im with crystal maybe find a happy medium between prudism and grabbing boobs?
oh and their is a "should" in there that should be changed to "shouldn't"
And, just to add, as your child gets into the teen years, it's important for them to have other adults in their lives that are living out a life commitment to Christ. At this age, they are looking around, beyond their mom and dads, to figure out how to own what they believe. They do need to be around people who are bearing the good fruit of the Spirit.
I do not agree with this guy on this article. Is it prudism if I don't want to hear or see about my parents sexual endeavors? If so, then I am prude for life. I think that being affectionate in front of your kids is one thing, and it's appropriate, but the key here is education.
Since we have formally removed sex ed from schools, the teen pregnancy rate has increased almost 70%. That's crazy. Kids are learning earlier, so we need to introduce it to them in a professional, caring way. Parents and schools/teachers. Of course this author does not have confidence in the schools (mine is not so high either), but I do think this is a beginning to a solution.
By mentioning the media, he touches on the key player in this problem. Everything is available in some form whether it's tv, internet, radio, magazine or whatever. These kids are seeing it however and whenever they want. Let's face it, a parent can't know exactly what their kid is doing 24/7. In that respect we need to look at introducing higher standards for the different media available and how kids can access it.
Peas. Enjoy the fights tonight. They're going to rock. All the Brazilians I train with won't stop talking about Wanderlei. We'll see what happens.
The more I have thought about this article it makes me laugh. Is his thesis really that sexual immorality and the rise in abortion is caused primarily by parents not making sure their kids know they "do it". LOL.
This is off topic, but I would like to go ahead and indroduce the concept of a "blog whore" (phrase coined by a friend). In this case, I will go ahead and call out my best friend, Rachel, as the current blog whore. She reads every post and comment, thinks about it diligently and comes to her own conclusion, (which is quite good on this topic by the way), yet does NOT post. Basically I wanted everyone to know that we know you are out there (my own husband is guilty!). Just dont be a blog whore. Don't use Paul and the rest of us ... POST. (I know you will like this Paul)
Anyway, back to topic. I really liked what Michael had to say about education. In a perfect world all children would have parents that teach and do what Paul is teaching Sydney, but there has to be more because the truth is that most kids parents are pretty much absent (either emotionally or physically). I dont think they have changed "the talk" in years which is absurd. I am not one to blame the media on everything, but with it combined with the internet, kids are seeing things they wouldn't have ever seen unless they seriously searched for it before. We have to start talking to kids earlier than when we first started learning/hearing about sex because chances are they will start hearing about it earlier. Most importantly, as Paul mentioned, we have to teach/show our kids how valuable they are. Most of what they learn from peers, and society in general teaches about experimentation and glorifies it. We have to teach them that they are far more valuable than any experiment.
Thank you, Crystal. I certainly couldn't of said it better myself. You are a kindred spirit and I think somewhere down in our family lines we might be related.
You motivated me to continue and if anyone out there has a topic or an article they want discussed, then send it my way and I'll get it going.
You don't have to be a professional writer to blog, just a friend with an opinion. So go for it all you shy and bashful ones.
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